Should I Pay Off My Fiance’s Debt?

Taking responsibility for someone else’ debts is a huge deal. It is also a personal decision that can not be taken lightly due to the potential consequences. When that someone is a person you intend to marry, the questions become even more difficult to answer. By law, when two people get married, the other person is not responsible for their partner’s existing debt legally. Any debt incurred after a couple becomes husband and wife however is a different story, depending on what state you live in. But prior to the wedding, a debtor’s responsibility is their own.

Deciding to pay off someone else’s debts before marriage should be well thought out. Consider the following information:

While new relationships can seemingly last forever, the reality is relationships are complex. Discussing money issues upfront before marriage is a good start to a good foundation but the conversation must incorporate a level of reality. Consider what would happen if one half of the couple were to commit to paying off the debts of the other. What happens if the relationship fails prior to the marriage? What then happens to the agreement?

Paying for someone else’s debt is a nice thought but it could take a significant amount of money to meet the obligation, depending on the amount of debt. If one party is independently wealthy and can easily manage to pay down the debts, only do so if it is mutually agreed upon and repayment terms, if any, have been legally documented.

While it may seem to some to be an issue of trust, it is always best to check with a legal professional such as a family law attorney about your options prior to making an agreement as a couple. Many people completely avoid this resource in order to not offend the other party but in the end, when things go wrong, the legal factor becomes even more frustrating and expensive.

Couples need to take a look at the big picture when it comes to finances. Is the other party incapable of handling their own debts? Are they willing to help repay the debts along with your help? Or is the debtor happy to have someone else shoulder the responsibility for their money problems without any thought to assisting in the process?

For the debtor, questions need to be asked as well. Is the person who is willing to take on your debt doing it for the right reasons? Some people will use money assistance as a way to essentially trap the other half of the couple into a relationship they do not want. Is the person you plan to marry helping you simply because they want to help you? Are you willing to take some responsibility for your own debts?

If paying another’s debt will be a financial burden to the relationship, it may not be a wise idea to agree to pay the debts in full. A plan for repayment using both parties income may be arranged prior to the marriage that can be carried over after saying “I Do”.

Once a couple is married, each individual party is not responsible for the existing debts of the other, provided they are not already joint account holders. Married couples do not have a joint credit report and maintain separate credit histories. Each credit report will include the accounts where the individual is an account holder or authorized user on the account. If a couple lives in a community property state, debts taen on within the marriage are considered joint obligations, even if only one party applies for credit. There are currently nine states considered to be community property states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin.

After a couple is married, the old debts may not be legal issue but on some level, both parties are still going to be responsible for paying the debts with the shared income. Depending on the progression of the relationship, one party can become resentful about having to allocate the large amount of money necessary to pay the obligations. If the married couple is able to keep an open line of communication about their finances, it can be an excellent start to a good financial future.

Ultimately, choosing to pay for someone else’s debts, even someone you love dearly, is a big decision that requires some serious financial as well as emotional considerations. It can be a good plan to work on paying off debts prior to a marriage but it is not a requirement for one party to take full responsibility while the debtor is not.